Vuggestue - Nursery

Jesper og jeg arbejder begge i en fritids- og ungdomsklub, hvorfor vi har fri - når de fleste institutioner lukker. Derfor havde vi skrevet Arthur op til den integrerede institution Hyltebro, en institution med udvidet åbningstid.
Arthur startede i Hyltebro kort efter sin 1 års fødselsdag. Han begyndte på Grøn stue, en vuggestuegruppe med 13 børn. Forinden Arthurs start, havde jeg fortalt institutionen personale om Arthurs sygdom. Jeg havde givet dem en kopi af Arthurs journal fra Riget, samt et brev fra Arthurs læge, hvori der var lagt vægt på Arthurs behov for ro, samt præciseret, at Arthur bliver urolig og mistrives i situationer, hvor han udsættes for pludselige lyde samt berøring.

Arthurs institutionsstart var udmærket. Han var okay med at jeg tog på arbejde og blev glad, når Jesper eller jeg hentede ham. 
Efter et stykke tid, fortalte personalet, at Arthur gerne ville nusse både børn og voksne i håret. Arthur har siden han blev født, fundet ro og tryghed ved at nulre i mit hår, så dette var meget genkendeligt for os. Desværre begyndte Arthur også at hive i hår. Ikke kun på de små piger i vuggestuen, men også de store børnehavepiger. Det blev derfor aftalt, at Arthur ikke måtte nulre i hår, når han var i vuggestuen. Ind i mellem gav personalet ham, til vores store forundring, vanter på, så han ikke kunne få fat i de andre børns hår.
Efter noget tid, fortalte personalet os, at Arthur var begyndt at bide de andre børn. Han gjorde det ofte og meget. Når jeg havde ham med på legeplads i vores nærmiljø, oplevede jeg desværre også, at han begyndte at bide. Jeg googlede hvorfor små børn bider og læste mig frem til, at det ofte var i frustration over noget, barnet ikke kunne fortælle. Vi prøvede derfor at støtte Arthur i at sige fra på anden vis, men lige lidt hjalp det. Vuggestuen begyndte, til stort ubehag for os, at sætte Arthur op i den barnevogn han sov til middag i. Her sad han så med sele på, så han ikke kunne nå de andre børn. Han var således ekskluderet fuldstændig fra legen på gulvet. 
Både Jesper og jeg fandt det meget uhensigtsmæssigt, at Arthur skulle sidde i barnevognen og kunne ikke begribe, at det var eneste løsning. Vi frabad os, at personalet satte Arthur i barnevognen og opfordrede til, at de fandt andre pædagogiske handlemuligheder. derudover bad vi dem kontakte os, hvis de ikke kunne rumme Arthur, da vi så kunne have ham med på arbejde i stedet.
I en lang periode cyklede jeg fra vuggestuen med ondt i maven - Jeg havde virkelig ikke lyst til, at han skulle være der. Jeg havde ikke indtryk af, at personalet kunne lide mit barn og havde en følelse af, at de misforstod ham. Ofte blev jeg mødt med sarkastiske kommentarer og en spydighed der var yderst ubehagelig. Personalet gav udtryk for, at de snakkede meget om Arthur til deres personalemøder.
En dag blev jeg kaldt ind på vuggestuens kontor til samtale med lederen. - Hun fortalte, at Arthur havde "skamferet" et andet barn og at barnets forældre var meget vrede. Derfor var de fortsat nødt til at spænde Arthur fast i barnevognen. Jeg fortalte, at vi brød os meget lidt om dette, men at de virkelig måtte forsøge noget andet. Jeg fik en sang fra de varme lande om normering og resurser og lederen endte med at fortælle, at det altså var noget, de var nødt til.
Da jeg den følgende periode hentede Arthur, sad han ofte fastspændt i barnevognen.
En eftermiddag, da jeg kom for at hente ham, fortalte personalet på Arthurs stue, at han altid var urolig og rastløs. - Jeg fortalte, at dette jo var en følge af, at han blev overstimuleret på grund af sin sygdom. "Sygdom?" - sagde pædagogen. Jeg forklarede kort, at Arthur jo havde Startle Disease og at det var institutionen jo informeret om, ligesom jeg altid fortalte om Arthurs jævnlige besøg på Riget, samt hans medicinniveau. "Får han medicin?" - Spurgte hun undrende?!

Samme aften søgte jeg dispensation til at flytte Arthur til en anden institution - Han fik en ny institutionsplads 14 dage senere, den 15. november 2010. Lederen i Hyltebro var helt uforstående - "I skal i hvert fald ikke sige, at det var fordi vi ikke kunne rumme ham" sagde hun. - Men hvis der var noget de ikke kunne, så var det, at rumme Arthur.

15.11.10
Nursery  

Jesper and I both work at a youth club. Therefore, we are off work later than most nurseries close. Arthur was originally placed in a nursery with extended opening hours. He started shortly after his first birthday in a group with 13 children. Before that, I had told the staff about Arthur’s illness. I had given them a copy of his medical files and a letter from his doctor explaining Arthur’s need for quiet and the way he gets agitated in situations where he experiences sudden sounds and touching.

Arthur’s first days at the nursery went well. He was okay with me leaving and happy when Jesper or I picked him up.
After a while, the staff told us that Arthur likes petting the hair of both children and adults. Ever since he was an infant, Arthur has found peace by petting my hair so we recognized this scenario. Unfortunately, Arthur also began to pull the hair. Not just on little girls at the nursery but also the older children in the adjoining day care center. Therefore, it became a rule that Arthur could not pet people’s hair. To our astonishment, the staff would sometimes put gloves on him so he could not get a hold on the children’s hair.

Later on, the staff told us that Arthur was biting the other children. He did it often and a lot. I googled why children bite and read that it can be due to frustrations about something the child is not able to communicate. Therefore, we tried to support Arthur in putting his foot down in other ways but it did not help. Much to our discomfort, the nursery started placing Arthur in the pram where he had his naps. This way he was totally excluded from playing with the other children.

Both Jesper and I found this unsuitable and could not fathom that this should be the best solution. We told the staff not to put him in the pram but seek other pedagogic options. Furthermore, we asked them to contact us if they could not accommodate Arthur – then we would bring him to work instead.

For a long period, I left the nursery with a knot in my stomach. I really did not want to leave Arthur there. I was under the impression that the staff did not like my child and that the misunderstood him. Often, I was met with unpleasant sarcastic comments. The staff told us that they often discussed Arthur at their meetings.

One day I was called to the office for a talk with the manager. She told me that Arthur had “disfigured” another child and that the other child’s parents were very angry. Therefore, they had to tie him to the pram again. I told her that we did not care for this and they has to figure out another solution. She gave me a long talk about resources and ended up telling me that this was the only way they could accommodate Arthur. In the period that followed, Arthur was tied into the pram most of the time when I came to pick him up.

One afternoon, the staff told me that Arthur was restless and fidgety. I told them that this was a result of being over stimulated, which was a part of his diagnosis. Diagnosis?, the pedagogue asked. I briefly explained Arthur’s condition and his medication to her and it turned out that she had never heard of any of it.

That same evening I applied to move Arthur to another nursery. He got a new placement two weeks later. The manager of the old place was completely uncomprehending telling us that we could not say that they could not accommodate Arthur. However, that was exactly the case.